in the realm of words

true story

words work like this — your mind walks into their realm — you are surrounded, overwhelmed, lost, curious, intrigued, overjoyed, content, confused, furious, saddened, numb, calm, comfortable, found, perhaps lost again — indefinitely. you can never quite get back to where you once were, but you have never left either.

you take a word, quite casually, then realize it is not for you. it does not come close to describing how you feel and what you mean. you want to put it out, but the void is now a lot more disturbing because a word was once there. (indeed, it is a void only because of that word — the one you took so casually — or it would be just nothingness.) so now you are a lot more serious in your choosing, which scares most words away. those that are not afraid are invisible to your mind’s eyes. the only way to see them is to make yourself invisible as well, to let the you fall into the nothingness of the world before words. perhaps the right word will come to your rescue. just, perhaps.

no promise. words have never promised anybody anything. people make promises with words. words themselves hold no such notion. in fact they do not even hold those things called meanings. meanings are promises people make with words.

you need to express something that is quite universally called love. you think you know it. you think you feel it. you feel that you know it. you feel that you feel it. it is here, it is everywhere, it is you in every which way. you begin to question all your promises. you are not sure if thinkknowfeelyoume means anything. you are not sure what you are. you are not sure why you are not sure, what you are not sure about, and what sure means. oh, this… love thing. it strips away everything and yet it is everything, it is more than everything, it is larger than what words could hold, and so you are completely naked. you have no words for love. love is the only word. perhaps, just perhaps, in the realm of words, there is only one word. there is only…

                          love

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