When you spoke to me all I could hear was the way you looked at me, the things you hid behind your words.
I’m so used to loving somebody that it feels irrational once I start thinking about unlove them.
in between the two mentalities,
I wondered how to let go,
and I would fall right onto the abyss below.
nobody has ever told me why this could happen:
being happy and being upset about the things
that have not occurred.
maybe this is how I have to walk,
right in between, looking
into my heart, where it remained
intact, like a dream no one has had
during the seamless nights.
I cannot remember how you looked like,
how your lips almost touched mine, how
we could not let ourselves trapped.
why did I let us walk away from each other?
one day, you stood at the other realm of my mind,
and I was here,
never again feeling that I could
love you the way I did
one more time.
“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
“It’s painful, painful, painful…
One day she decides that she could fall for a better person.
Things are either told or not… or half way there. Why keep wondering rather than asking directly what’s going on?
I can’t remember what you said on the phone. I just remember how sweet it was for you to call me.
Along with time I probably will forget most of the things we used to talk about.
But I will remember how I loved you.
It got to a point when everything suddenly makes sense to me, but I’m no longer interested.
I fall under a day of blue, calling me by your name
I wrote these words a long time ago, and never truly understood them. Sometimes you need time to understand your own thoughts, and even more time to recognize your own emotions.
by Nizar Qabbani
In spite of all our conflicts
and all our resolutions
that we can’t make it work,
in spite of the animosity,
in spite of the absence of our smiles
and the lack of communication,
there must be a mystery
that unifies our destinies –
brings our footsteps closer
and blends you into me,
melting your warm hands with mine.
In spite of all our differences,
our unmatched temperaments,
the dark days of detachment
and the retrieval of all the gifts and photographs –
in spite of the dreariness,
I still believe
that destiny insists
on our togetherness
all our arguments
In spite of the autumn of our relationship
and the bleeding going deep inside us,
in spite of our persistence
to put an end to our drama
at any cost,
in spite of our determination
that I won’t
and you won’t –
I doubt that we can.
In spite of all these conflicts,
we are helpless
in the face of our fate.
How alike we are
in our spirits,
in our thoughts,
and even in our books and colours.
Isn’t all of this
that we are friends of the same destiny,
traveling the same road
despite all our insanities?
Qabbānī, Nizār, Nayef Al-Kalali, and Lisa Kavchak. “In Spite.” Republic of Love: Selected Poems in English and Arabic. London: Kegan Paul International, 2003. 40-45. Print.